Indie Number Ones — “Where’s Captain Kirk?” — Spizzenergi
As a coronavirus Network Time Killer, I’m going to write about every song that hit number one on the NME indie charts starting in early 1980 with Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” and working our way towards the present day.*
This is a total and utter rip-off of the great Tom Breilan’s “Number Ones on Stereogum”, where he writes about every number one on the American Top 40 charts. Which is itself admittedly a rip-off of Alan’s Popular write-ups of every UK Number One on their charts. If, for some unknown reason, you have lots of spare time these are totally fun ways to pass the time.
Mainly I’m doing this as an opportunity to write about the music that I love and to delve a little deeper into my favorite songs’ story and origins. Hopefully it will be enjoyable enough to write and more importantly enjoyable enough to read that I keep the enthusiasm going all the way to current modern rock #1.
Looking forward to writing our last post in Fall 2021 on the great BTS/Wilco collab, “Celebrate: Masks off”.
# # # #
NOTE: I cheated.
“Love Will Tear Us Apart” hadn’t yet been released when the Indie Charts debuted in January 1980.
Instead, a little remembered blast of punk sci-fi weirdness “Where’s Captain Kirk?” by a band called Spizzenergi launched as the chart’s #1. (See what I did there?)
Let’s burn some neurons and check it out:
The simple rapid underlying bassline and punk guitar riff come off like a Ramones studio outtake where everything was going gangbusters until someone pulled out the magic mushrooms and tuned the TV to a mid-afternoon UHF broadcast of the original Star Trek (fun fact: at the time, it was the only Star Trek series!)
Punk rock’s aesthetic was ‘anyone can do this’ and sometimes that led to 4 average nobodies becoming the Ramones, and sometimes that led to a track like Where’s Captain Kirk.
The video for WCK? is a poorly edited montage of a performance at a tiny punk venue, with singer and main band member Spizz, dressed like one of the Road Warriors who also had a thing Judas Priest and 1/5 of the Village People, yelping on about Captain Kirk while staring uncomfortably at various females(?) in the audience.
Spizzenergi, though, weren’t just riffing on a decade old American Sci-Fi series. The first Star Trek movie was released in December 1979 — weeks before the premiere of the Indie Chart. The flick had a lot of problems including rewrites being delivered hours before the day’s filming. Unsurpisingly, it received not so great reviews but the merely acceptable levels of profit were enough to get a second Star Trek film greenlit.
That paved the way for Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, which established the pattern of odd Star Treks sucked and even numbered sequels were amazing.
I’m a level 1 sci-fi nerd and fan of the first two iterations of the series, and I can say I after watching the trailer for Star Trek: the Motion Picture, I can say I have absolutely zero memory of this movie.
So, if you really want to experience two forgotten things in one beautiful casserole, I reco syncing Spizzenergi and the Trailer together. Play WCK? on your favorite music service, starting it midway through the title, “The Human Adventure Is Just Beginning” in the Star Trek trailer.
Uncharitably, “Where’s Captain Kirk?” is a 2/10, a novelty hit at the tail end of punk rock and the start of the Indie chart’s run of post-punk and new wave.
Charitably, it’s a goofball good time for pogo jumping punks — rebellious rock that stopped taking itself so seriously and added some phaser noises and a goddamned fucking theremin to great effect. Plus, it held the top spot for the first 7 weeks of the chart’s existence.
For that, the I#1 final verdict is a 7/10.
Bonus: Here’s REM’s very faithful Fan Club only cover of “Where’s Captain Kirk?”
Bonus Bonus: Modern Trailer’s take on Star Trek: The Motion Picture:
Up next: UB40 (!) — King/Food For Thought
